The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
