No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
