The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Randomize
