Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
