So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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