you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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