But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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