That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
