Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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