is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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