We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
