um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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