nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
