come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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