hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
