"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
