I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
