sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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