i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
