hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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