i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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