So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
