You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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