Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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