I should be sponsored by Trojan
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
