Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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