I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
