I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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