who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
