Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
