Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize
