It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
