apparently the secret to your success is patron
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
