Who wears a wallet chain?!
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
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