Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
