Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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