i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
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