If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
