JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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