i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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