I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
My bed smells like the plague
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
