she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
