Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
In other news, I just burned my penis
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
