he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
