He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
