i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
