Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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