ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
