are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
