I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Randomize
