Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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